In-laws

It has always bothered me my in-laws had not directly checked in on me during my year of hell--particularly after ectopic #1. Of course this speaks to the bigger issue of my relationship (or lack there of ) with them. Further, I felt they weren't being provided adequate information about our "situation." I overheard my husband talking with them on the phone a few weeks back and could immediately tell when he was asked a question related to our infertility-- his demeanor completely changed, he tensed and relayed one worded answers. As of late, I've found it important that certain friends and families, especially those we may rely on for support, have information. Not necessarily all the gory details, but enough information so they could maybe, just maybe, begin to understand where we are coming from. After talking with my husband about his reaction, I realized he simply wasn't ready or able to have the conversation I needed him to have with his parents.

When relaying my frustrations to a friend, she asked: "Well, have you tried calling them?" My response: speechless and intrigue. I call THEM? I reach out to THEM? So blatantly obvious and yet, such a novel concept. So I did. I called them, well not them so much as her: my mother-in-law. After conferring with George, I made the call. We talked for nearly an hour and it was a good conversation. She relayed to me she would always ask how I was doing when talking to George but always felt she couldn't ask to talk to me directly because he seemed to put up a wall as if he was protecting me from her. I told her I thought he was attempting to protect us from each other. He didn't want her to say something to upset me and didn't want her to experience my raw emotion. His need to do this doesn't come from a bad place, it's just what he does and illustrates the differences between our families. My family: throw everything out on the table and deal. His family: ignore and avoid.

At any rate, it was a good conversation and it ended with my telling her to feel free to call me directly any time to chat-- we'll see if she takes me up on it.