Remembrances of Infertility: Miscarriage #1 September 2007

The Shattering of Innocence

I remember getting a positive pregnancy test.

I remember my hands shaking (shaking from excitement and anxiety) when I found out.

I remember telling George, I remember him exclaiming "My boys can swim!"

I remember my Mom crying with happiness when I told her.

I remember my Dad saying "So my little girl is going to be a Mom!"

I remember getting my ultrasound at 7+ weeks.

I remember the look on the technician's face and though she couldn't tell me, I knew...

I remember crying.

I remember the doctor saying things like: "I'm sorry." "Your pregnancy isn't viable. " "It was nothing you did..."

I remember crying.

I remember checking into the hospital for the D&C.

I remember being uncertain how to answer the "Are you pregnant?" question.

I remember the hospital form's signature line for disposal of the "remains" stated "Mother's signature."

I remember crying.

I remember the pain.