More tears and more waiting.

Here I thought I would know the answer by now, but I should know that when it comes to this, we can't seem to catch a break. I woke up around 2am on Tuesday morning and decided to try the digital test-- the frickin' thing didn't work. Completely dead. So I woke up around 6am and tried it again-- this time I had both the cheap test and the digital test ready to go-- the digital test worked. The result: Pregnant. Excuse me? Pregnant? WTF? I've been spotting since Sunday and it's getting heavier. In my experience, bleeding and pregnancy doesn't mean happy things. I went to the Doc's and got my blood drawn--my HCG is a lousy 10. Considered a pregnancy--just barely. So now I'm on bed rest due to the bleeding and will go in for another draw on Christmas Eve and will know what direction my HCG levels are going that afternoon (Merry Christmas to me). I've found myself having conversations with this egg-- urging it to persevere, but with the bleeding is it too late? How can this turn out to be a positive outcome? I'm having tremendous difficulty seeing it. I think the likely outcome will be another miscarriage and the worst case scenario is of course another ectopic. I find it interesting that a few months ago the worst case scenario would have been a miscarriage, but recent experiences have taught me different. So I cry and I wait some more...