More Tough Stuff

I understand anything worth having isn't easily achieved. But for the love of God, haven't I put in my time? Doesn't 4 failed pregnancies and all the emotional and physical bullshit that goes with it enough? Doesn't that earn me some credit?? We were thrown for a loop this weekend. We were told the birth mom wanted us at her next appointment-- when the sex of the baby could be found out. We were thrilled. I emailed her asking her if we could come and for us the meeting served 2 purposes-- 1st to meet her in person and 2nd to get more engaged in the pregnancy. So when her response came, we were puzzled. Her response was: "...after some thinking, I think I would rather see how you two live first." What does this mean? I understand her wanting us to meet face to face for the first time when it is not her Doctor's appointment-- but again we were told she wanted to offer this. And what exactly is meant by "SEE how you two live..." Kind of thinking it sounds like she wants to come for a visit, see our neighborhood, see our house. Quite honestly that is something we are NOT interested in, in fact, if this is her wish this is a worst case scenario for us. We do not want to be in a situation where a birth mom thinks she can show up at our house and even worse yet co-parent. Of course, we do not yet know if this is her intention-- and even if it isn't we are not OK with her coming for a visit. And what if her coming out here is a non-negotiable condition of hers? If it is, then I fear we will have to say good-bye and good-bye (once again in the short term) to being parents.